The Dos of Early-Stage Texting in Online Dating
1. Start With a Strong Opener
A boring "Hey" or "Hi" won’t stand out, especially when dating profiles receive numerous messages daily. Instead, craft a message that sparks curiosity or interest. You can reference something from their profile, ask an intriguing question, or inject a little humor.
Example:
"Hey [Name], I see you love traveling! If you could teleport anywhere right now, where would you go?"
2. Keep the Conversation Balanced
A great conversation is a two-way street. Ask questions to show interest but also share details about yourself. The key is to build rapport without turning it into an interrogation.
Tip:
If they respond with a short answer, try adding something about yourself before asking another question. This keeps the dialogue engaging.
3. Use Proper Grammar & Avoid Overusing Slang
While casual texting is fun, poor grammar or excessive slang can come off as immature or lazy. Keep messages readable, and avoid abbreviations like "U r gr8," which might make someone second-guess your seriousness.
4. Be Playful & Lighthearted
Early texts should feel fun rather than overly serious. A bit of banter, a joke, or a fun hypothetical can make your conversations stand out.
Example:
"If we went on a spontaneous road trip tomorrow, what ridiculous destination would we end up at?"
5. Match Their Energy
Pay attention to how often they text, their tone, and their style. If they are using emojis and playful language, mirror their approach. If they seem more reserved, tone
down excessive excitement or lengthy messages.
6. Respect Their Response Time
Not everyone responds instantly. If someone takes a few hours to reply, avoid double texting or asking why they haven’t answered. People have busy lives, and patience is attractive.
7. Be Clear About Your Intentions
Whether you're looking for something casual or serious, honesty from the start builds trust. Don’t be afraid to express what you’re looking for once the conversation feels comfortable.
8. Move Beyond Just Texting
If the conversation is flowing well, try suggesting a quick phone call or video chat. This deepens the connection and prevents conversations from fizzling out.
The Don’ts of Early-Stage Texting in Online Dating
1. Don’t Overwhelm Them With Long Paragraphs
While meaningful conversations matter, early-stage texting shouldn’t feel like an essay exchange. Keep messages digestible and engaging rather than a long monologue.
Example of an Overwhelming Message:
"Hey! I was thinking about how great it would be to visit the mountains someday. I really love nature, and I believe that spending time outdoors helps us feel more connected to the world. Do you also enjoy hiking? Or would you prefer a beach vacation? Personally, I love both, but the mountains hold a special place in my heart because of childhood memories."
Instead:
"Hey! Do you prefer mountains or beaches for a getaway? I love both but have a soft spot for the mountains!"
2. Don’t Text Too Frequently
Over-texting in the early phase can be a quick way to push someone away. It’s important to let conversations breathe rather than bombarding someone with multiple messages throughout the day.
3. Don’t Get Too Personal Too Soon
Avoid asking deeply personal questions early on, such as their past relationships, family issues, or financial status. This can feel intrusive and overwhelming.
4. Don’t Play Mind Games
The era of waiting hours before responding to “seem cool” or intentionally being distant is outdated. If you like someone, respond when you can. Playing hard-to-get can backfire.
5. Don’t Use Excessive Emojis or GIFs
While emojis can enhance conversations, an overload of them can feel chaotic. Use them sparingly to add personality but not to replace actual conversation.
6. Don’t Expect Instant Intimacy
Early conversations should focus on natural connection-building rather than rushing into deep emotions. Avoid forcing conversations about love, relationships, or future plans too quickly.
7. Don’t Take Rejection Personally
If someone doesn’t respond or isn’t interested, move on gracefully. Texting should feel effortless, and if someone isn’t reciprocating, it’s best to invest time in conversations that have genuine potential.
8. Don’t Delay Meeting in Person for Too Long
While texting builds rapport, prolonging online conversations for weeks without progressing to a real date can weaken the connection. When the moment feels right, suggest a casual meetup.
Final Thoughts
Texting in early-stage dating is about balance. You want to keep the conversation engaging without overwhelming the other person. Focus on natural flow, clear intentions, and playful energy while respecting boundaries.
By following these dos and don’ts, you can boost meaningful connections on your dating site, keeping users engaged and increasing successful matches!
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